the east coast breeze.

I was at the beach last night.
The waves were calm and the breeze was cooling.
The sound of the crashing of the waves gave me an unimaginable comfort.
Staring blankly into the the cloudless moonlit sky, I've never seen so many stars.
Only two things were on my mind: You and my scorching past.
Unfortunately, my past overshadowed images of you.
Jet planes caught my sight and I wondered to myself,
when will it be my turn to leave on a jet plane?
Hopefully soon.
And once I'm gone, I never want to come back again.

The companionship was great, but my intention wasn't to be there to have fun.
And so, my mind drifted while my smile remained.
Constantly looking at my cell phone, only to be deluding myself.
Neither liquor nor the guitar took away my sorrows.
Hard as I tried to share, I just can't open up my mouth.
Constant fear of this leaking out, I just want it to stay this way.
Is this the end of lewis?
Currently it seems so.
No one may see this, only lewis himself can feel it.

At dawn, I saw a red sky.
How beautiful it was.
It symbolised the start of a new day, a renewal of your life.
Not today to me.
Today, it's significance to me was just the word "beautiful".

And I thought to myself,
this is just the start.


Peace and love,
Lewis

Missed these days.

Last afternoon I was at the beach.
The sun hung high and the sky was blue.
And you were there...
in my mind.


Peace and love,
Lewis

Dare To Fall, Dare To Pick Yourself Up, Dare To Try Again.

On a visit to Aunt Rosemary's house, Baby A meets Baby B. Baby A was 6 months old, while Baby B, 5 months. They were both sitting on the lawn when something caught their eyes, a shining red apple. While Baby B tries to stand to walk over to grab the apple, he fell. He cried. But focusing on the apple, he tries again. Again, he falls and cries again. Baby A sitting a distant away, couldn't stand the pathetic sight.

Baby A: "Hey, stop trying. You can't even walk and you expect to reach that shiny object? Quit dreaming."
Baby B: "I'm not dreaming. I'm trying."
Baby A: "I just can't stand the pathetic sight of you falling and crying."
Baby B: "I know how pathetic I look, but if I don't try, I'll never know how that object tastes like."
Baby A: "Go ahead then! I don't care."

Baby B repeats the cycle of standing, falling and crying for half an hour. After that, Baby B fell and just remained seated, crying.

Baby B: "I'm useless. I can't do it! I keep trying and trying but still keep failing. Maybe I shouldn't even try in the first place."
Baby A: "Hey, look up! Look up!"
Baby A: "You're under the tree already! Quick! Reach up and grab it!"

Baby B upon realising, tries to stand up one more time and reach for it. Only to realise he was too short to reach it.

Baby B: "I can't! I need help. Won't you come help me?"
Baby A: "Me?! I can't even stand properly and you want me to help you? You must be joking."
Baby B: "You can do it. Just keep trying and never give up. You may fall and cry, but pick yourself up and try again. Even when the odds are against you, keep trying."
Baby A: "I dare not. I'd rather play it safe and stay here."
Baby B: "If you do not dare to try, then you'll never learn and you'll never know whether or not you would've made it."
Baby B: "Even if it hurts you, the satisfaction at the end of it is much sweeter. Keep trying!"

Baby A then starts his attempt to Baby B. After another half an hour of standing, falling, crying and this time, the constant encouragement from Baby B, Baby A reaches Baby B.
Baby A then assisted Baby B to up to the apple. There their mothers watch with tears in their eyes as Baby B grabs the apple with his small hands. Their mothers then cut the apple up and feed Baby A and Baby B.

Baby B: "See. The satisfaction at the end is indeed so much sweeter. If you do not dare to fall, you'll never walk. Sure you may fall and shed a tear or two, but you've got to pick yourself up and try again. Keep trying; keep probing. Even if you do not succeed, at least you'll know you tried your best. And don't be afraid of crying. It's never shameful to cry. But it's shameful if you cry and do nothing about it. The odds are never against you unless you say so yourself. We do not live for tomorrow, we do not live for yesterday, we live for this moment. So cherish it and do all you can to keep it. With the help and encouragement of your friends, you'll be able to get through it for you know you're never alone in this. Everyone needs help some time; no one's superman. Should you remain seated on that lawn, you'll never be able to taste the sweetness of this apple!"


Peace and love,
Lewis

I Just Want To Pack My Bags And Leave.

When will stop discouraging me and start to encorage me?
I'm tired of trying to impress you guys.
It's not easy being me.
It never was.
I may pose a smile at home, but it's just another of my masks I put on.
You always think that it's so easy getting through school.
I'm tired.
I know I'm a burden, I always was.
I hate this isolation chamber.

God, just take me away.
I just want to pack my bags and leave.

If only things could get worse.

Peace and love,
Lewis

We Do Not Cling Onto Hope, But We Live By Faith.

How is it that we human beings are afraid?

Blinded by the upcoming cascade.

How is it that we human beings feel sad over touchy issues?

Where our only source of consolation are packets of tissues.

How is it that we human beings praise God when good things come and curse God when shit comes?

This is where faith succumbs.

How is it that we human beings exaggerate the extent of things?

Here's where all our whining sings.

How is it that we human beings dread the feeling of loneliness?

Making us be in a state of abjectedness.

How is it that we human beings are materialistic?

Without the latest item we go ballistic.

Why is it that we can't look around us and realise,

the world ouside alphabetise?

Why is it that we can't look around us and appreciate,

and not always abjudicate?

Why is it that we can't look around us and know,

there are seeds in peoples' lives that we can sow?

All we as human beings think we need is,

a sense of achievement,

a sense of belonging,

a sense of security,

a sense of victory.

When all we as human beings really need is,

someone there to listen and a little faith.

We do not cling onto hope,

because hope leads to anticipation which leads to disappointment.

We live by faith,

because though we may not see things, we should always know that there's something positive to bring out of a negative issue.

So lending a pair of listening ears to my friends and living by faith,

I think I can do that.

Peace and love,

Lewis

For A Stranger.

In the evening,
the old man begins his routine.

White hair, wrinkly and lean,

he holds an umbrella in his hand.

Ramages through the bin trying to withstand,

the smell, liquid and rubbish.

With only one goal to accomplish;

to find at least a can.

To think he's just an old man.

A son he says he has;

51 and broke till his ass.

Jobless and with a spouse,

he's unable to feed his house.

Refusing to be a burden,

this old man is one to be embolden.

Walks around kovan by faith,

this is just the same ol' phase.

Sitting on the bench comes a boy,

who had a ploy.

To give the old man a few more cans,

was the only thing in his plans.

Ran home with pespiration all over,

just to be the old man's sweet clover.

Cans in his hands he ran back,

to the place across Mac.

Passing over the cans to the old man,

that was so much better for him than the trash can.

Joy filled the man's eyes,

as darkness reigns across the skies.

Thanks was all he could offer to the kid,

and the kid wished for more than he did.

In the night,

the old man finishes his routine,

only seeing an angel in the form of a teen.

How much would you go to help a stranger?

This much?

or

This much?

Peace and love,

Lewis

Hope In the Red Sky

There on the bed I lie.

Arose and there I saw a red sky.

Hope for the day I see.

Peace without worry.

Then the red sky went away.

And I prepared for the day.

Books was all that filled my time.

Without anyone caring a dime.

Loneliness sets in.

Where's everyone but my kin?

Evening I walked home.

Back to the isolation dome.

At the front gate I bowed my head.

Refusing to enter ahead.

Then I looked up and my eye

Saw again the same red sky.

There again,

I saw hope.

Peace and love,

Lewis

Friends That Keep One Going.

First off, I would like to thank all my friends who have encouraged me throughout all my emoing.
And I'm here to say that despite feeling empty and without an aim in life,
I'll still continue to fight on.
With my only motivation, my friends.

This period would be the toughest period of any JC person's life;
promos.
The fear of repeating another year just embers through one's mind whenever the words 'promotional examinations' pops up.
With everyone busy mugging, one will definitely feel intimidated at the sight of their friends studying while you're slacking away in one corner.
I think it's not a shame to repeat a year, but it's a shame to repeat one year without trying your best.

"Take every training as you last."
These words from Mr Teng has definitely stayed in me for a long time.
I think it truly shows the amount of effort one needs to put in order to get results.
Sure one may argue that despite studying like mad, one may still fail.
And I can testify to that.
But I think that the best is still to have a clear conscience.
Knowing that you've tried your best and getting the results is definitely way better than you not trying your best and getting what you want.
This goes the same for soccer as well.
While some of the SR soccer boys are afraid of dropping to the recreational club, all I can say is train hard and have a clear conscience.
Indeed, take every training as your last.

If we learn to appreciate life by helping others yet not getting anything back in return,
why not?
I would.


Peace and love,
Lewis