Miserable At Best.

"Dear Lewis,
You've got to know this. You've got to start having confidence in yourself.
I know whenever you look into her eyes, you feel small.
You feel inferior.
But somehow, you can't seem to look away.
It's like a small little boy oogling an ice cream cone from afar, him knowing he can never have it but dream so much of gaining it.
I know you think you've got nothing to offer, no looks, no talents, not even the basic average height.

You stammer in front of her.
You drop your popcorn all over the seat.
You have no idea what you're going to say next.
She talks about your past and what you've done.
You regret for a moment, but regret no longer.
For you know for sure, you've grown from it.
You've changed from it.

She might say all the negative points about herself, but truth is, you don't mind.
You know human beings are never perfect.
You know everyone has flaws.
And you know you accept her flaws.
All you're asking for is a chance to woo, not even to get get into a relationship.
But a chance to woo.

You see through her iron body and realise she's like toufu.
Sturdy on the outside but soft on the inside.
Afraid she is of another heartbreak.

You know how tough it'd be.
To appease her.
It's like David against Goliath.
But you remain faithful.
And I believe that faithfulness, reaps good harvest.
Whether tangible, or intangible.

This is all I have to say.


Peace and love,
Lewis."

That was 16th Feb 2010, nearly 6 months ago.

How I missed the faithfulness.

How I missed her.

Funny how things can change at such a drastic pace.

She said I meant a lot to her.

But truth is, sometimes people need more than just words.

This is the first time I'm going to pray for something.

For God to help me let go.

It just feels so hurtful knowing you've been living a lie.

Despite all of that, I still miss you.

And I hope you'll be happy with him (I know he's so much better than me).

Though I know you'll never see this, goodbye.

And if God permits, we'll meet again some day.

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting, go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

'Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

Peace & love,

Lewis