When You're Down, You're Down and Out.

It's a cold world out there.

"When you're down, you're down and out."
This is a phrase I often hear in football matches but never really believed in it.
Only till now.
I came to terms that when bad things happen to you,
bad things would just follow.
And when good things happen to you,
bad things would also follow.

Take last week's case scenario for example:
I bought my tunit boots and was rejoicing.
I kicked the first ball and the feeling was magnificent.
I thought I had it all then.
Only for me to lose one stud that day.
That incident taught me something.
That when you think you have all the answers,
someone would change the question.

It's not about losing the stud,
it's about how bad things can turn in a split second.

Take yesterday's case scenario for example as well:
I was ecstatic when I found out I grew by 2cm.
Though I am still short,
that height increase brought me hope.
I was hyper throughout the whole day.
Until at night when I realised I suddenly had rashes.
Don't worry,
it's not contagious.
Anyway,
I've been burdening my parents so much these few months and this just burdened them more.
I may be alergic to sweat, grass or fabric.
Or I may just have an unnatural reaction.
The first one is the worse and I would not accept it.

I've recently been having thoughts in my mind that I wish I can shrug off but it just keeps coming back.
Even though I liked the thought very much,
I know it's wrong and I know I can't do anything about it.

Life just keeps getting dimmer and dimmer by the moment.
I need a Saviour.
Please.


Peace and love,
Lewis