Stay on that pitch...just let me stay.

The pitch.
That 75X120 yard piece of grass patch.
That's the only place I feel wanted.
That's the only place I find peace.
That's the only place I want to stay in.
That's the only place I pray in.
The adrenaline.
The intensity.
The atmosphere.
Indescribable.

Even though I scored today, I somehow still feel empty.
I somehow still feel that I'm not there yet.
My fitness, deproving.
The only consolation is me knowing I'm at least heading the right way on that pitch.
But it's still not enough.

Let's face it, I've not been a good Christian lately.
The things that I do not deserve, He still gave.
His grace.
Is something I've been taking for granted.
With the fire buring out, He's still out there desperately searching for firewood.
I feel ashame.
I feel I do not deserve the goal.
I feel I do not deserve everything that I have.
But He still gave.

I need to push.
I need to bleed.
I need to improve.
I need someone anywhere to motivate me.
I need someone.

And lastly,
I need to stay on that pitch.


Peace and love,
Lewis