i was wrong.

i thought i could be cool,
i was wrong.
i thought i wasnt that ugly,
i was wrong.
i thought i had became Christlike,
i was wrong.
i thought my height wouldnt bother me no more,
i was wrong.
i thought i was humble,
i was wrong.
i thought i could supress all the mixed emotions in me,
i was wrong.
i thought the loneliness was gone,
i was wrong.
i thought Zi was wrong to say those things to me and nearly got angry with him,
i was wrong.
i thought the whole world revolved around me,
i was wrong.

i angered/saddened Janice on tuesday,
im so sorry Janice.
i angered Zi as well,
im so sorry Zi.
i was unable to get the whole team to training; i lack leadership,
im so sorry team.
i wrote all those non-Christlike things on the floor,
im so sorry sister Ruth and Elder Glen.
i had to leave the church girls to save my butt from the trouble of cleaning the floor,
im so sorry girls.

probably the biggest loser in the world is none other than me.
im just not strong enough.
perhaps it's all you guys' mishap to know someone like me.
believe me,
i am not what i seem to be.
wont You save me?
from myself.