Leaving me with nothing but a dead connection.

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that"
- Michael Leunig

I just want to say, I hate mirrors.
The image I see in them just disappoints me most of the times.
But who am I to say?
What can I do?
Nothing.

Jealous and/or envy?
Well, Jealousy is wishing you had something you used to have.
Whereas envy is wishing you have something you never had.
I would say then, both.


Rooster - Deep And Meaningless


I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

Song Review:
"I think this song has hidden meanings which arn't shown from first lisning to it. As you continue to listen to the song, (OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! :D) you hear the desperation in the singers voice. I think this one line sums up the whole song:
'You can hear in my tone of voice, it's just a lie.'"
- Anonymous


Peace and love,
Lewis

A thousand other boys could never reach you. How could I have been the one?

"If you have it [Love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have."
- Sir James M. Barrie

It's difficult having to shrug someone off your mind.
It's difficult to see how much things have changed.
It's difficult to know you're so near, yet so far away.
And it's difficult to know, I never once stood a chance.

Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon


Baby's black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
And you're not thinking about tomorrow
'Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees

A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer

You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer

And there's no time left for losin'
When you stand they fall

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder

All because I'm
Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go and lead you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become
What you became to me

Song Review: Love
I think this song is about love in every sense of the word. In what ever way this song effected you is what the band wanted it to. But basically, just love. That's all we can ever do.
- Anonymous


Peace and love,
Lewis

Can't believe that I'm the fool again...actually, it's believable.

"Only from afar can I stare,
At the the beautiful image beyond compare.
My heart at times end up in warfare,
Such that I contemplate if I should take the dare.

They say patience in a man is rare,
But for love I'm afraid it's something I've got to bear.
I wonder how many times my heart have to tear,
Before I find my other pair.
You can kill me for all I care,
Cause I never once thought love was fair."
- Me

Mother Teresa: The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
Newton's 3rd Law: An action has an equal and opposite reaction.
"Move on Lewis, move on."
"I can't Lewis, I can't."

So here's my life in a summary now: Shit.
Yeah, and to make things worse, my exams are screwed.
Awesome...

Westlife - Fool Again


Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me,
When you were lonely,
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances to show you
How much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me

About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could,
I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me


Peace and love,
Lewis

Love hurts. But sometimes it's a good hurt.

The heart has reasons that reasons do not understand.
- Blaise Pascal

Today, the moment I heard that you were there, I knew it wasn't going to be a good sight.
I can't say I never saw this day coming, cause I did.
It just came so unexpectedly.
Such that I had no idea how to react.
All I could do was contain my sorrows inside of me and cry them out when I'm alone.
Moving on seems like the only feasible choice, but not yet.
I can't say move on and I move on.
Give me time.

But in the meantime, I'll still love.
Crazy?
Maybe.


Incubus - Love Hurts


Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast to truth
I don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
(as common as a cold day in LA)

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts.....
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive.

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one man submarine
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts, oh
Without love I won't survive


Peace and love,
Lewis

I'd take the fall.

For You
I couldn't explain the beating of my heart,
The moment I saw you right from the start.
I never thought it would last this long,
Ever since after I found out this was wrong.

I just can't seem to go away,
Even though I know it would hurt me more this way.
There's just something about you that keeps me coming back,
So I hope you would cut me some slack.

I'm not expecting anything out of this,
All I hope is for you to find your peace.
If there's one thing I want you to know,
It'll that I'll always be here for you; my body & my soul.
- Me

And if I'd lose it all, I'd take the fall.

Backstreet Boys - Lose It All


Oh, no

Take what you need
Cause I can't hold my breath
Say what you feel
Cause I've got nothing left, oh

I made a promise to myself last night
I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall
Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful
It's a chance, I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Would it matter anyway
Don't change a thing
You're perfect as you are
Time has a way
Time is all I've got

If my heart should shatter watching you
There'd be one less thing I'd have to prove

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful
It's a chance I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Bridge:
Heaven will be waiting
When I fall into your open arms
I believe you'll find me there
You'll find me there

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall (take the fall)
'Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful (yeah, yeah)
It's a chance, I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

And if I lose it all (ohh, oh, yeah)
There'd be nothing left to lose (nothin', and I would)
And I would take the fall
Cause knowing you are out there (knowin')
Breathing is so wonderful (so wonderful)
It's a chance I'll take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Would it matter anyway?


Peace and love,
Lewis

Love unconditionally.

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give — which is everything
- Unknown

Just what is happiness?
This world as we know it, is dying.
Wars, droughts, famines.
People killing one another over greed.
It's sad, such that this world handed over to us by God is so torn up by our own actions.

However, God gave us love — the ability to see another person and your heart keeps pumping; the ability to miss someone even in the brightest of days.
This world may die, but love will survive.
Love is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.
It is our connection with God and to each other.

I can't say I like her, it'd be a lie because I do not know her close enough.
I can't say I love her, it'd be a bigger lie.
But I can say I have feelings for her.
I can say I'd show love to her.
And just to see her smiling and being healthy, is all I want for her to be.

Life may be shitty and messy for me, but that won't stop love.
With my hands held high into a sky so blue, as the ocean opens to swallow me, love wins.

Linkin Park - With Hands Held High


Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drumming

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus:]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

[Chorus x6]

[x6]
With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.


Peace and love,
Lewis

Even if it means taking the last train home.

Love feels no burden,
Thinks nothing of trouble,
Attempts what is above its strength,
Pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
And it completes many things,
And warrants them to take effect,
Where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
Though pressed, it is not straitened;
Though alarmed, it is not confounded...

- Thomas A. Kempis -

I've decided, boy friend or no boyfriend, I'm not gonna stop.
Even if it means a broken heart, I'd be more than willing.
The only thing I want to get out of this, is to see that sweet smile on your face.
In all honesty, that's really what I want and I'd do anything to get that.
I'm not going to hope for a miracle that you're unattached, and even if you're using me, I don't care.
Health and happiness is just what I want to get.

I'm not going to whine anymore, I'm not going to be called the "emo kid" any longer.
Dudley and Jerome are right, all I've gotta be is myself.
And so I've also decided to be Lewis and not someone who tries too hard.

I realized that I'd love for the moment.
Not for the future or anything, but for the moment.
Cause there are no rules on love.
It's just love.
I shouldn't worry about what will I get out of loving, I should just love.

What is love to me?
Love is sacrificing for the benefit of others.
So, to love or to be loved.
Which one will I pick?
I'd rather love than be loved because only then is when I'll experience love.

So we'll sing without a reason,
To ever fall in love
Even if it means taking the last train home.
(:


The Lostprophets - Last Train Home


One! Two! Three!

To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love

But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again


Peace and love,
Lewis

Here Without You.

There is a story on the Greek Gods:
They were bored, so they invented human beings.
But they were still bored, so they invented love.
Then they weren't bored any longer.
So they decided to try love for themselves.
And finally, they invented laughter, so they can stand it.
- Feast of Love

It's 4.22AM in the morning and I can't sleep.
I don't know why, but I can't seem to shake these images out of my head.
Whenever I close my eyes, I see her.
At that moment, I'd open my eyes hoping that she was there.
And always, I lay there asking myself "Why?"

Why am I doing all these?
Why do I miss someone I hardly even know?
Why am I not fixing my life?

I walk around these days just being envious of my friends.
Just seeing the things going on in their lives, make me reflect about mine and how insignificant it can get.
I used to wish I was taller, good-looking, buff and smart.
So basically, I was asking for perfection.
And I never got it.
So I'd get disappointed with myself and frustrated with God.

And then I realised something.
No one can be perfect.
We all have imperfections, some more than the other.
And we're just constantly seeking for someone out there who'd see through these imperfections of ours.
God is never to blame.
Because if God hated us, He wouldn't had given such brave and strong hearts to fight this "love" that we talk about.

I told a friend the other day that the right guy would come to her someday.
She asked me when will he come.
I chuckled and said "I have no idea."
I mean, I am also waiting for the right girl.
And it's just so annoying when you assume that the person you like is the right person for you.
So you give and you give and wonder if your efforts will pay off.
But often times, it'd leave bleeding alone on the ground.
"So why are we fighting so hard for a person anyway?" she asked.
"That's love for you." I replied her.
I mean, we'll never know the true definition of love,
But to me, love is being able to sacrifice for another without the expectation of a return.

To me, love is to do anything to ensure happiness in your heart.
How I wish I can say this to you someday.

3 Doors Down - Here Without You


A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me


Peace and love,
Lewis